Reflections on Independence, Self-Discovery, and Embracing Growth
Turning 25 has felt like stepping into a space where the weight of the past and the uncertainty of the future collide. The reality of adulthood has never been quite as clear as it is now, and yet, there are days where I still feel like I’m fumbling my way through it. They say your twenties are for figuring it out, but no one tells you that the figuring it out part can sometimes feel like a constant tug-of-war between what you’ve been taught, what you want, and who you’re becoming.
Looking back on my journey so far, I realize I’ve been living through so many transitions—some expected, some not. Graduation was one of those milestones I had always dreamed of, but the sense of achievement that came with crossing that stage was bittersweet. You see, it wasn’t just about finishing college; it was about finding out who I was outside of the walls of a campus, outside of being a student, outside of the expectations that had been set for me.
Life After Graduation: The Reality of Real Life
I graduated with a sense of accomplishment, but I was also immediately thrown into a whirlwind of uncertainty. College had a way of providing a clear path: classes to take, exams to pass, goals to check off. But real life? Real life is a maze with no map. And even though I had my family’s love and support, I’ve always been the type to fight my battles alone. There’s strength in that—sure—but there’s also loneliness that can come with it.
It was around this time that I found myself in the middle of a breakup. The kind of breakup that shakes you to your core, where everything feels suddenly unfamiliar, and you're left questioning who you are without that other person. It wasn’t just the end of a relationship; it was an unraveling of expectations, dreams, and a version of myself that I had come to identify with.
In that space of hurt and loss, I realized that, perhaps, part of the reason it stung so deeply was because I had spent so much of my life in a state of hyper independence, and convinced myself that I didn’t need anyone. But when I found myself in pieces, I had to face the fact that I did need others and most importantly God!
As I navigated through the heartache and the transition into "real life," I started to learn more about who I am beneath all the roles I’ve played. For the longest time, I thought of myself as just a "strong, independent woman" who could handle anything. But in the quiet moments, I began to realize that my independence was more of a shield than a superpower.
It wasn’t until I dug deeper into understanding myself that I discovered that I’m hyper independent. And to add another layer, I’m avoidant—meaning I often shy away from emotional intimacy and tend to rely on myself for everything, even when it’s not in my best interest.
This discovery was like looking in the mirror and seeing a version of myself that I hadn’t recognized before. It wasn’t easy to accept at first. After all, who wants to admit that the very traits they pride themselves on might be keeping them from the connection and growth they truly need? But it also felt like a revelation—one that brought me closer to the woman I aspire to become.
I've been independent for so long that when I did allow myself to trust someone, when I did try to lean on someone else for support, I often found that they let me down. And in those moments, it only reinforced my belief that I couldn’t count on anyone but myself. It left me feeling even more isolated, as though I was fighting alone in a world full of people. So, in my mind, I’ve always felt lonely—even when I didn’t have to be.
I’ve searched high and low, pouring over books, tuning into podcasts, and finding moments of peace in prayer, all in hopes of understanding myself a little more clearly. And through it all, I’ve learned that growth isn’t just about adding new knowledge. It’s about unlearning the old patterns, the things I’ve carried for years, and having the courage to face the parts of me I’ve kept tucked away. This journey I’m on, it’s not something that can be fixed overnight.
At 25, I’m on a path of healing and self-improvement and let me tell you, it’s not easy. But I’ve realized that change doesn’t happen overnight, and sometimes it takes being gentle with yourself, acknowledging the past, and giving yourself permission to grow.
I’m learning to embrace vulnerability—something I used to fear. It’s a slow and intentional process, but I know that if I want to become the woman I’ve always dreamed of being ----- Fully grounded in my own truth, open-hearted, and deeply in tune with both myself and those around me, I have to break the walls I built to initially "protect myself".
I used to believe that doing everything on my own was a sign of strength, but I’m beginning to understand that true strength lies in having faith, building meaningful connections, and allowing myself to be fully supported by the love and guidance God has placed in my life.
Looking Ahead: A New Chapter
As I continue to navigate life at 25, I feel both excited and a little nervous about what’s to come. I’m no longer afraid of change, but I know I can’t do it alone. With God’s guidance, I’m stepping into this next chapter of my life with intention—intentionality in my relationships, my growth, and my personal development, trusting that He will lead me every step of the way. I’m learning to honor my journey, to trust that I am exactly where I need to be, and to believe in the woman I am becoming.
To all the readers out there, whether you’re 25 or 35 or anywhere in between—know that it’s okay to take your time. It’s okay to not have it all figured out. We don’t have to walk this path alone. Growth comes from the challenges, the messiness, and the willingness to confront the parts of ourselves that need healing.
So, here’s to embracing the beauty of our imperfect journeys, to growing with grace, and to becoming the individuals we were always meant to be ✨
Photo Cred: Olivia Wellness | Pinterest